‘Baby Reindeer’

Written Emma Lawton

Have you seen it yet? The Netflix show based on true events that everyone’s talking about. Well, I’d say you are in for a treat, but, for many, it may prove distressing and triggering.

The hit show touches on the harrowing subject of sexual abuse in the form of power roles and manipulation. It also exposes us to the real-life experiences of stalking. It was brutal watching at times and perhaps quite confusing for some.

As a therapist, I’m glad that we’re talking about it, one way or another, because so many people have experienced sexual abuse as a child/adult and it’s something I come across almost daily in my practice.

The secrets of abuse often stay buried, and I’m sometimes the only person outside of their caregivers to hear their stories. ‘Baby Reindeer’ captures the confusion, shame and guilt that the abuse cycle often creates for survivors.

People ask about survivors, “Why are they talking about it now?”

In the past, people have reported not being believed, or being worried they won’t be believed, so they fear their disclosures will be swept under the carpet. This results in empowering the abuser and disempowering the abused, further adding to the trauma.

The pain and difficulty abuse causes never really leaves a person. It shapes their whole life, their identity and who they become, often leaving a person wondering what/who they might have been if it hadn’t happened.

However, survivors are beginning to see others sharing their stories in bravery and through this sharing, the shame that’s held by the victim is starting to be placed back with the abuser where it belongs.

We’re starting to see the mental health implications abuse has on an individual, and we’re in a

much better position these days to recognise those who pose a risk and those at risk. Collectively, we are beginning to shine a light on the reality of how power and control play a huge role in the secrecy of abuse allowing us to protect future generations. And as we embark on a new era of understanding the psychological impacts of sexual abuse, survivors are choosing to free themselves from the shackles.

Whether you like the series ‘Baby Reindeer’ or not, we have a responsibility to hear people’s stories. To vindicate survivors of something that was never their fault in the first place, and the show provides us with the platform to bring client reality out of the shadows and into the light.

If you have experienced historical or recent sexual abuse or trauma and need support, please get in touch. You are not alone.

Emma x

Tel: 07496 295558