Why Your 2025 Resolutions Don’t Matter And What to Focus on Instead

So, the first part of 2025 is done and dusted. As we step into spring, perhaps you—like many of my clients—are noticing a shift in your mood.

But alongside that shift, you might also be feeling guilty—guilty about the broken promises and self-imposed expectations, about skipping Dry January, failing miserably with your New Year’s resolutions, and already questioning whether 2025 is really going to be your year.

Well, here’s some good news: it doesn’t actually matter. That’s right—it really doesn’t matter.

I know that might sound blasé, as if it disregards the complexities of your life. But here’s what we know for sure: we cannot change yesterday, and we cannot control tomorrow. That leaves us with today. Our time is not promised, and often, our reliance on willpower to make changes is futile. Willpower, in fact, is the enemy.

Too often, we set too many goals. We’re unclear about what we actually want to achieve, we fail to plan the steps needed to get there, and we ignore potential barriers—just waiting for them to trip us up.

As a therapist and coach, I always help my clients uncover the goal behind the goal—which is often more of a desired feeling than the goal itself. For example, “I want to lose four stone” usually translates to, “I remember a time when I weighed less and felt happier or more confident.” And that feeling is what they are really chasing.

Success is not about sheer willpower. It’s about time, patience, intention, and a willingness to fail and try again. Too often, we hold ourselves to impossibly high standards, rarely stopping to celebrate the amazing things we do accomplish—both in our lifetime and even just today.

So, if today you gave someone your time, if you withheld judgment, if you practised self-reflection and owned your part in a problem—then that is cause for celebration.

Goals and values matter, but sometimes, just keeping your head above water is enough. If you’re looking to make real changes, I always recommend starting with a life inventory. It helps you see where you are, focus on key areas, and—most importantly—uncover the goal behind the goal. That’s where your real success is hiding.

If you’d like a free copy of the life inventory and guidance on how to complete it, email Unknotcoaching@gmail.com—and let’s make 2025 a focused, worry-free year