Love for the LGBTQ+

At one of our recent networking events, I had a conversation with someone whose son was a Trans-male – recently transitioned and still at high school. I swelled with pride upon hearing about such a big step, but at the same time, hearing their struggles with identity and with others not understanding their plight broke my heart. So, I felt compelled to become agony-Adam and give out some advice. If you are someone, young or old, who’s struggling with gender, or sexual identity, I hope this helps you.

Labels Shmabels – You don’t have to know who or what you are right away. Unless you’re completely certain immediately, take time to think about what you want. I personally knew I wasn’t heterosexual at a pretty young age, but only came out as bi officially when I was eighteen. I’d spent a lot of time considering my identity before being comfortable enough to tell people. Remember, no one is pressuring you to label yourself. Start where it makes you feel comfortable. It’s not for other people’s benefit – but for yours. If you’re struggling with identifying your place on the LGBTQ+ spectrum, just take your time.

Representation is out there – You look in the media and you see people that aren’t like you. Most of the popular things at the cinema or the book store or on Netflix don’t have LGBTQ+ people in them, and if they do, it’s for the sake of tokenism… But good texts are out there – you just need to know where to look. Books, TV Shows, and Movies that are out there feature amazing characters and content about gay, trans, bi and even ace characters. I recommend the books by Alice Oseman, Rainbow Rowell, TJ Klune and Aiden Thomas, TV Shows such as Steven Universe and the Owl House, and the Young Avengers comics. Believe it or not, Marvel’s comic universe has a same sex, Jewish wedding in space (check out the Empyre series). Soon, you’ll find yourself. Just look in the right place.

Any experience is valid – Not everyone experiences things the same way, but at the same time there is no right or wrong way to do things. You may be an asexual who still wishes for a romantic relationship, or a bisexual who happens to be in a straight relationship or any combination of anything. Whatever your particular preference or journey is, it doesn’t diminish your identity. You have a right for your choice, and that should be respected.

Nolite te bastardes carborundorum – It’s the sad case with anything different that people might not understand or adjust right away. This can be as extreme as people hurting you or calling you a bad name, to a family member misgendering you by mistake. If they accept you, then take some time to tell them your experiences. Especially if it is a family member, the adjustment can be hard, so be sure to forgive any slip ups if you genuinely see they are trying… As for any bullies, if they aren’t funding you or feeding you, then pay them no mind. If they are abusing people just for being themselves, that’s a reflection on them and their insecurity, not you.

Keep an eye out on for my blogs and our social media the coming weeks, we are planning something very special that I hope you will really enjoy being part of. In the meantime, keep going, keep being you – you’re doing great.