Nina Kundi, sexual wellbeing & female empowerment coach talks self-love…
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- 7 July 2020
When I was offered a job as a trainer for the company I’d worked with for 18 years, the excitement took over and I couldn’t wait to make a start! Training is always something I’ve been passionate about. Throughout my life I have trained people in various different industries, so to be offered this job was a dream come true. That was until my bubble was abruptly burst.
The problem was, not everyone shared my excitement. There were many people who held a jealous stick and insisted on beating me with it. Comments like, “what makes you so special”, “why have they choosen her?”
This made me feel like rubbish. I’d think, “why can’t they just be happy for me?”. Then the monsters inside my own mind took over, “I must be bad if they’re acting this way, maybe the company have picked the wrong person to do the job?”. I got to the point where every time I was about to deliver a training my anxiety would kick in.
It’s amazing how we put ourselves down, assuming that everyone else is doing the same, just off the back of a simple comment from one or two small minded, jealous people. What’s more, it’s interesting that even when you receive lots of nice comment, we always go back to the negative comments and focus on them!
Why does this happen? Well, after years of experience, I now know that the reason we do this is because we lack self-love and self-belief. If we had genuine self-love and self-belief, we would be armed with the knowledge that it doesn’t matter what anyone says or does, we would know that we are always enough. That inner knowing would protect us from the negativity and we would bash that negativity away like a tiny fly.
For me, enough was enough. I was sick of feeling so rubbish about myself. I had to really look at this from a different angle, so one day I started to ask myself some questions.
“Why am I so affected by these people?”
“Who am I trying to impress?”
“What is the worst-case scenario of them having an opinion?”
“Do I honestly believe the negative remarks they are throwing at me?”
“Would those comments kill me?”
I really had to go deep and get to the bottom of what was causing me all this pain. So with that in mind, I started to focus on myself to try and find out why I was letting these comments affect me so much.
I used several methods to drag myself out of the negative self-belief and start to love myself, and I mean really love myself and what unique gifts I offered the world. I am now sharing these methods with the people I work with to help them learn to deeply love and believe in themselves and feel empowered.
I now know five things…
- I AM a great trainer
- I AM loved by many
- I AM truly knowledgeable
- I AM focused
- I CAN make a difference
I’ve been in this role for quite some time now and I am loving every minute of it! I’m proud of how far I’ve come, and love sharing this with my clients.
As for the haters, well, they will keep hating, and I have learnt that there isn’t much I can do about that. However, I no longer wait for the seal of approval from anyone else other than myself. I just know deep inside I AM ME and I AM AWESOME!
Nina Kundi – Sexual Well-being and Female Empowerment Coach
